
Pat Benatar: From Heartbreaker to True Love
By Steven P. Wheeler
It was 39 years ago this week that Pat Benatarâs iconic rock hit âHit Me With Your Best Shotâ was released, as it quickly became an anthem for female empowerment. Just like her platinum-selling debut album, In the Heat of the Night, did a year earlier with the ferocious, in-your-face power of âHeartbreakerâ and her perfect gender twisting rendition of John Mellencampâs âI Need a Lover.â
For ten years, between 1979 and 1988, the former Patricia Andrzejewski from Long Island was rockâs reigning queen, releasing six consecutive platinum and multi-platinum albums (with three others that reached Gold).
The fiery vocalist, who turned miniskirts, leotards and headbands into a fashion trend, cracked the Top 40 no less than 15 times (!) and dominated the Grammyâs Rock Female Vocalist category with four straight wins between 1980-83.



But Benatar didnât do all this alone however, as her guitarist, songwriter, producer and musical director, Neil âSpyderâ Giraldo, was the creative force behind the curtain all along the way. From their love-at-first-sight meeting in 1978, the two eventually married in 1982 and remain so to this very day.
It is a professional and personal partnership that has never faltered as they continue to perform 40 years after first bursting on the scene in 1979. They remain a refreshing rarity in the world of rock & roll.

Yet after the release of 1988âs Wide Awake in Dreamland, Benatar took a two-year hiatus to raise their daughter, Haley (Neil and Pat would be blessed a second time in 1994 with daughter, Hana), and finish building their impressive Malibu residence, while also immersing herself in various childrensâ charities dedicated to fighting child abuse.
During that two-year sabbatical Benatar contemplated retirement and for the first time in her life music took a backseat. So what did the influential figure of future female rockers do for an encore when she returned to the public eye in 1991? She shed the rock goddess image, hired a band called Roomful of Blues, and made a genuine blues album.
The resulting gem of an album, True Love, would become another Gold recordâdespite having no rock or pop radio supportâand has continued to grow in stature and acceptance nearly 30 years later. On a personal note, let me just say that it should be part of any record collection. To this day, Benatar still says that the making of True Love was a highpoint in her career.
“I was really thinking of retiring at that point, because I was just so unhappy creatively. And thereâs no point in making dead records, because you should be so happy and grateful that you have the opportunity to do this for a living.”
Pat Benatar (Interview by Steven P. Wheeler)
Visiting the Giraldos
With that in mind, I thought this would be the perfect time to go back to the memorable Saturday in the spring of 1991, when I visited Pat and Neil at the large estate they call home in Malibu, California. With their home studio on one end and their residence on the other, with a basketball court in betweenâobviously for the sports loving man of the house and not for the five-foot-tall BenatarâI was greeted by the ponytailed Giraldo, who walked me in to the impressive recording studio where they had just recorded their latest album.
The plan was for Neil and I to do our interview alone, and then Pat would come down to sit with me while her husband went off to play with his local softball team. As we sat down in the studio, the guitarist suddenly had another idea. âItâs a beautiful day out. Do you wanna see my favorite place in the whole world?â
This SoCal guy never minded a little sunshine, so I grabbed my tape recorder, papers and backpack. Little did I know that the backpack was apropos as Giraldo proceeded to lead me on a rather lengthy hike up a trail into the green hills overlooking their home and studio.
We stopped at a small clearing where a large rock and tree trunk served as natureâs furniture and as I dropped my stuff and turned around, I could see why this spot would be someoneâs favorite place. Talk about Zen.
As deer scampered below, the Ohio-born musician simply said: âI consider myself very fortunate. I couldnât be any happier in my life. I love everything about it. I love my family, and I love my music.â
Hard to imagine anyone feeling differently as I soaked in the tranquil setting, but there are those that would (just check Facebook and youâll see millions of them). Giraldo isnât one of those though. The epitome of the laid-back rock star, his personable and optimistic nature is not only cool, but real. Not pollyannish, annoying or fake.
The Saga Begins
The Cleveland-born Giraldo was playing keyboards and guitar with Rick âRock & Roll Hootchie Kooâ Derringer in the late â70s before his fateful meeting with his future musical partner and wife.
âChrysalis Records had just signed Pat to her record deal, and she was looking for a musical director, and they heard about me through [Rick] Derringer. Itâs funny, because I was writing songs throughout the time I was with Derringer, but they didnât fit his style. So when Pat and I met, we definitely felt something musicallyâas well as a personal attraction.â
The petite superstar with the three-and-a-half octave range agreed, saying during our later one-on-one interview in their studio: âWhen I got my record deal, I told my record company that I wanted a musical partner, not just a guitar player, and they went out and found Neil. Obviously I did get much more than a guitar player.â
For her part, Benatar fell in love when Giraldo first walked in the audition room and when he played his first chord; that was it. But Benatar was still in the middle of a divorce (she married a military man at the young age of 19) and Giraldo was dating actress Linda Blair at the time.
Throw in the fact that the record company execs were fearful of a Fleetwood Mac situation as broken romances within a band donât always lead to classic works, and it became clear the two would have to wait as they managed to hold back their feelings as their career took off like a skyrocket.
Then as fate would have it, Benatarâs divorce finalized as Giraldoâs other relationship ended. They no longer fought those pent-up emotions and they were wed in 1982.
Burnout & Motherhood
Following their 1988 album, Wide Awake in Dreamland, which included another hit single, âAll Fired Up,â the four-time Grammy winner and mother was truly burnt out after a non-stop, ten-year roller coaster of recording studios and endless tours. It was time to take a break, if not call it quits entirely.
âI was really thinking of retiring at that point,â Benatar told me in 1991, âbecause I was just so unhappy creatively. And thereâs no point in making dead records, because you should be so happy and grateful that you have the opportunity to do this for a living.
âSo when that feeling goes away, itâs just not right. I didnât get the feeling onstage that I used to have and that really bothered me, because it should feel great.
âThe three of usâMyron [Grombacher, drummer], Neil and myselfâdecided that we really couldnât do another one of those rock records again. We had been doing it for so long, and it really wasnât feeling the same.â
Giraldo, in our separate interview, confirmed his wifeâs thoughts, saying: âWe were being stylized as something and had become almost like caricatures of ourselves, and we didnât want to fall into that trap. We had a lot of restraints over the previous 12 years, which was the main factor in making things difficult to deal with at that time.â
“When you have a child, your whole perspective is completely changed forever, and that sense of change encompasses everything that you do. It filters into everything that you think and feel. Motherhood opened up everything in my life, and itâs the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Pat Benatar (Interview by Steven P. Wheeler)
And when you throw in that little life-change called motherhood, well, suffice it to say that nothing will ever really be the same, as the singer pointed out: âWhen you have a child, your whole perspective is completely changed forever, and that sense of change encompasses everything that you do.
âIt filters into everything that you think and feel. So I started looking at things from another point of view. The main thing is that I didnât want to box myself in like I did before. Motherhood opened up everything in my life, and itâs the best thing that ever happened to me.â
Benatar, then noted with a laugh that she even curtails her career these days when school is in session. Just a regular mom spending a few days a week at her daughterâs school, âIâm just Haleyâs mom. Mrs. Giraldo, the school librarian.â
One also gets a taste of normalcy when Giraldo enters the studio, donning his softball uniform and carrying a gym bag stuffed with bats and gloves, and says, âGreat meeting you, Steven,â with a shuffling of the baggage to shake hands, before turning to his wife and saying, âOkay, hon, Iâm heading out.â
Pat says, âOh, B.C. called, and asked if you could pick him up.â [B.C. being softball teammate and longtime L.A. radio deejay and host of Rockline, Bob Coburn. The radio personality passed away in 2016]. With a quick kiss on the cheek, Giraldo is off. And I just have to say that there is something pretty cool hearing one of rockâs biggest superstars, calling out to her husband as he heads out the door: âOh, can you pick up some milk on the way home?â
New Contract, New Music
Feeling pigeonholed artistically and looking for a new musical direction, Pat and Neil flexed their muscles when it came time to negotiate a new contract with their longtime label, Crysalis Records. Not only did they secure higher royalty rates for their past and future albums, but they demanded, and received, the freedom to reinvigorate their muse in any fashion they deemed necessary.
“Neil is always coming up with ideas of what to do, and he wanted us to make a blues album, just to do something totally different than anything we had done before. And I told him, âNo way!â”
Pat Benatar (Interview by Steven P. Wheeler)
âWhen we re-negotiated for a new album with Chrysalis,â Giraldo said. âThey gave us more control to do whatever we wanted to do. They told us to make the record that we wanted to make and to give it to them when it was ready.
âWeâve started over from scratch,â the guitarist continued. âI just hope people accept it for what it is and not hate it because itâs not what we were. Weâll have to wait and see.â
And just what that new direction was would not only stun their longtime fans, but, in fact, Benatar herself wasnât into Giraldoâs idea at first either. âNeil is always coming up with ideas of what to do,â she said, with a sarcastic eyeroll, âand he wanted us to make a blues album, just to do something totally different than anything we had done before. And I told him, âNo way!â [laughs].
âI mean, just because you listen to and love a particular style of music doesnât mean that you have any sort of affinity for it as an artist. Rock and blues are obviously connected, but the technique is completely different.
âThe blues is much more subtle; the vocals are a lot more control-oriented and the phrasing is really pulled back compared to singing rock & roll. So there was a bit of a process of trying to figure out whether I could sing this material. Suffice it to say that I was not convinced and totally against the idea at first.â

But having full belief in her partnerâs instincts, Benatar did agree to at least give it some further thought by doing a little homework. âNeil told me to sit in the room with all this blues stuff and see if anything stirred my mind. So thatâs what we did, and it went from 500 to 300 to 250 to 50 songs until we finally got it down to 15. I mean we could do 20 volumes of this stuff.â
“I didnât consciously look at what Linda [Ronstadt] did and say, âIf she can do it, I can do it.â But I certainly saw what she had done and saw that it is possible to make a clean break from everything you had done in the past and try something entirely new.”
Pat Benatar (Interview by Steven P. Wheeler)
In addition to the cover songs, the album also features four original songs that were written in the style of the bygone era, including the seductive title track. However when it came to the songs by others, Benatar said she was always conscious not to get too enraptured by what she was hearing.
âI tried not to listen too intently to the original versions that we covered,â she said, âbecause I didnât want to start coping vocal licks. The thing is that you canât duplicate what they did originally, and to even presume that you could is stupid, so I tried to sing them as if they were my songs.â

Eventually, she came around, and felt a renewed passion for moving forward with her career again. âOnce you put away all the fear of trying something new, you get revitalized. If you do something too long, you get locked into it so much until you canât see anything else anymore. And I donât think I have the personality that can move gradually from one thing to another. And this project helped wipe the slate clean, and I feel good about making records again.â
When I mentioned another superstar vocalist who had abandoned her own successful pop career in search of an entirely different musical path, Benatar nods in agreement. âI didnât consciously look at what Linda [Ronstadt] did and say, âIf she can do it, I can do it.â But I certainly saw what she had done and saw that it is possible to make a clean break from everything you had done in the past and try something entirely new.â
Jumping Blues
Neilâs idea for a blues album would be a major shift as to what went before for the two artists. This wasnât to be one of those standard issue blues/rock projects. Not even close. This was to be a big band sound of jumping blues. Where the music swings, rather than plods.
âThe original idea for the record that I wanted to make was patterned after an album that Roomful of Blues made with Big Joe Turner about ten years ago,â explained the musical mastermind. âSo, in my mind, I kept thinking of that sound, and I finally realized that I might as well get the band that I was thinking about.â
Having finally convinced Pat about the concept of his idea, Giraldo then had to do another sell of his brainchild. This time to the band in question. âWhen I originally talked to the guys in Roomful of Blues, they thought I meant we were making a blues/rock album and they told me in no uncertain terms that they werenât the right band for us.
âBut when I mentioned their album with Big Joe Turner and that I wanted to do some T-Bone Walker songs and things like that, they were convinced.â
Once the material was selected and the vocalist and band were on board, Giraldo now focused on how to best record this huge band and capture them live in their home studio. âI looked at this project more like a producer, because there have been times in the past when I get caught between being the guitarist and the producer and the arranger,â he admitted. âBut when we started this project, I wanted to focus the energy around the whole rhythm of the band, as well as the vocals.
âNow Iâve worked with horn sections a little bit in the past, and I had mikes on each individual horn at the outset of this recording. But it only took me 25 minutes to realize that it wasnât going to work that way. So I moved them around the room and put a couple of tube mikes up, because I wanted all that live energy to be mixed around.â
Pointing to their home studio below from where we sat on the hill, the studio wizard said: âThat studio has a very nice room sound to it, and the close miking was choking the overall sound of everything. I wanted that âairâ around everybody, but once everybody gets in the studio, the sound gets soaked up a little bit, which in retrospect was good, otherwise it would have been like being in a reverb tent.â
The recording went incredibly quickâonly two weeksâand Giraldo captured it all with incredible precision. âIt might sound like jive,â he said, âbut thereâs a real family feeling among the people who played on this album. Itâs that family thing that makes great takes and keeps things rolling.
âIt was boom, boom, boom, one right after the other, and I think that feeling comes across because I think it has a very happy feeling to it. Even though itâs the blues, I think this album makes you feel good.â
Thoughts & Reactions
“We had no delusions of this style of music being readily accessible to radio, but you canât let it stand in front of your original motivations. Iâm just going to see what happens. Right now, Iâm a junkie, and Iâm hooked on the blues.”
Pat Benatar (Interview by Steven P. Wheeler)
When it came time to deliver their new album (and musical direction) to the label folks at Chrysalis, the reaction was shock, as Benatar is happy to point out: âNo, the record company definitely wasnât expecting an album like this. They knew that we wanted to do something different, but they had no idea that we meant this,â she said with a hearty laugh.
âItâs like they passed out, and we gave them some oxygen. But once they heard it, they loved it. The thing is that we had no delusions of this style of music being readily accessible to radio.
âSure you care about those things,â she continued, âbut you canât let it stand in front of your original motivations. Iâm just going to see what happens. Right now, Iâm a junkie, and Iâm hooked on the blues. Itâs just a different attitude and a whole other vibe all together.â

Giraldo said that although the two of them had always had battles with their record company in the past, the new regime there was onboard once they heard the finished album. âIn the past, they didnât like certain things we did; they wouldnât like the mix on this song or they thought that song was too fast. But I think theyâve really got some great people in there right now, who understand the concept of artistic freedom.
âThey love this album, which feels great because they had no idea what we were doing until we were done.â
“People loved Crimes of Passion. People always say itâs my best album, and Iâm thinking to myself, âShit, you donât know how good I could have sung on that record.â I donât think I can say that Iâve ever made an album that Iâm thrilled with as a whole. Thatâs just the way it is with meâyouâre never satisfied.”
Pat Benatar (Interview by Steven P. Wheeler)
Benatar agreed whole-heartedly with that assessment, noting past struggles with former execs who liked to dip their hands in where they didnât belong: âItâs a different company now, because thereâs been a big personnel change, and the new people donât pretend to have anything to do with the creative end of things. Theyâre business people, and they know that, which wasnât the case there in years gone by.â
That sentiment becomes clearer when the opera singer turned rock icon surprised me by saying: âI love this whole record, and itâs a rare thing for me to be satisfied with an entire album of mine. I mean, people loved Crimes of Passion [her 1980 album, which won her the first of four consecutive Grammy Awards and remains the biggest selling album of her career].
âBut I just want to scream when people say that, because it was just a bunch of material that didnât work for me, and I wasnât happy with it because we were so rushed to make it. People always say itâs my best album, and Iâm thinking to myself, âShit, you donât know how good I could have sung on that record.ââ
But surely the success of that record makes up for any armchair quarterbacking a decade later, no? âWell, yes, the success of an album anesthetizes that feeling,â Benatar admitted, âbut it doesnât make it better. Itâs still there for all of time for people to hear.
âI donât think I can say that Iâve ever made an album that Iâm thrilled with as a whole. Thatâs just the way it is with meâyouâre never satisfied, you canât get it all right, so you just go for as much as you can.â
Final Thoughts
As our time together grew to a close, I asked Pat to summarize her current state of being. Having made a major upheaval to the direction of her music career while balancing the real demands of motherhood.
âIâm 38 years old,â she said at the time in 1991, âand I finally feel like I have a grip on my life, on my ability. I just feel like Iâm starting out again. This album has been like a shot that cleans you out and gets your juices flowing againâyouâre excited and scared at the same time. Itâs given me all the things that you need to have to be creative.
âI donât know if the rock thing is awkward for myself and others my age, but, for me, it needs to be augmented, because itâs not what it was. If I ever do go back and make albums like I did before, this experience can only make it that much better, because what Iâve learned on this project in such a short time is amazing.
âLooking back on everything, I guess this album was a natural step. Every ten years I seem to try a whole different thing.
âAnd, truthfully, it is out of pure admiration and extreme reverence that I made this record. This album is a personal thing, but the secondary factor involved with this project is hopefully that people who donât know these incredibly influential musicians are going to check out the rest of their stuff.
âA lot of people donât know about all these great blues artists who really started it all, which is amazing to me,â she said, before adding with a laugh, âI mean, it didnât just start with Elvis Presley.â
I couldnât think of a better way to end my latest time-travel than to pull this quote from Patâs excellent 2010 autobiography, Between a Heart and a Rock Place. Her outlook in 1991 and what she would write in her book 20 years later clearly shows a woman who had found herself. Invincible, indeed.
âAs the producer for VH1âs show Behind the Music once told meâmine is one of the only stories that doesnât involve at least one trip to rehab. Iâm proud to say that like a lot of rock & roll truisms, that whole debate about burning out or fading away is bullshitâthe same crap music execs kick up to sell records and make you think that rock music only belongs to people under 30.
âA true rocker is going to do whatever the hell she wants to, whether sheâs a school teacher, a CEO of a large corporation, or someoneâs mommy. Because thatâs what rock & roll is really about: following your passion with no apologies. Following that sound in your head that only you can hear. I believe that every step, good or bad, has been a step forward. People much smarter than I am have long agreed lifeâs not meant to be perfect.
âOver the past 31 years I have been a singer, a lover, a businesswoman, a daughter, a friend, a wife, a mother, and yes, sometimes even a rock star. In my journey I tried my best to honor all of these things. In the end, I suppose thatâs all thatâs really required. I am exactly where I want to be. The only clock that I punch is the one that I built myself.â
Hereâs to building your own clock and being a rocker no matter what you do in your own lifeâs journey.
Ode to Neil
And, finally, I would be remiss if I didnât include a tribute to the musical brilliance of one, Neil Giraldo. Outside of his work with his wife and musical partner, the vastly unsung guitar hero was spreading his Midas Touch throughout some of the biggest hits in the â80s, as well as working with the should-have-been-huge band the Del-Lords. Hereâs just a very small sampling of Neil’s non-Benatar work: